Paper Trail
by Salma-sol
Summary: Following Kel's release from training, both she and Wyldon feel the mysterious need to start keeping diaries. Read these, and other personal messages, like letters between friends, to see the paths they both must follow to save a nation.
1. How it Began

Prologue: And it began

_Part 1: Kel_

Dear Diary,

Why am I so upset over this? I knew it would happen. I told everyone "Have a good summer." As I took my tray to the servants after dinner this evening. I should've said "Have a good life"

flashback

"You sent for me, my lord."

"Sit down, girl." After hesitating, I sat. "I want you to listen to me; I speak to you as I would _my_ daughters. Now that your have made your point, consider the future. Soon you body will change. The things that you will want form life as a maiden will change. Pursue the course you have, and you might regret it later. You could be crippled by an accident. What if you fall in love? What if you come to grief or cause other to do so, because your thoughts were on you heart and not combat? This year was the easiest/"

"You think so? It wasn't you year, was it?"

"Not now, do not answer me now. You are dismissed."

I had to hear him say it, outright, to my face, state the ugly reality that was creeping in. "I can't come back, then. "

"No." He wouldn't look at me, then. Turned his eyes away. He must have felt me looking. Willing him to at least look up and witness what he was doing to my dream, instead of shying away from it, because he got up and looked out his window with his back to me. "You are dismissed."

end flashback

I am at our Corus town house now. Mother promised to send me to Anders, at Mindelan, tomorrow. I think she understands that I don't want to run into anyone. I couldn't bear to see Neal, or anyone, just now. I will write then all from Mindelan and say I decided to go back to the Yamani Islands with Mother and Father. I don't want their training interrupted, too; I shudder to think how it would be interrupted if they began to despise the training master (more) for kicking me out.

_Part 2: Wyldon_

Dear Diary,

I believe what I have done today shall haunt me all my days as the hardest day of my being, save the day when Mithros judges me harshly (but rightfully) for what has just come to pass.

flashback

"For now, I will not tender my resignation over this, provided I judge weather this girl stays or goes in one year's time." I could see the king weighing my proposal, and I knew he would have to agree. Too many powerful, conservative, nobles felt that I was their voice at court. The Lioness, I knew wasn't happy, but she could just deal with it. She was trying to live a man's life, she couldn't be expecting to get as she wished.

"Thought we do no always agree, my lord, you know I respect you because you are fair and honorable. I would hate to see that fairness, the honor, tainted in any way. Keladry of Mindelan shall have a year's probation."

end flash back

The king was right to caution me, for though I believe it was better for the greater good that she goes, Keladry proved herself a more that adept fighter, and the realm shall feel the loss of her as a knight. In fairness to her, she oughtn't have been dismissed. In fairness to the realm, she oughtn't have been dismissed. But, in fairness to the other pages, whom I am responsible to, she had to be discharged; her presence cause more strife, more fighting, more division, than ever there had been before. I lie here, unable to sleep. Tomorrow I shall hand in my resignation, for Keladry's friends will not be able to accept me as worthy of knighthood, of anything, after what has been done, nor could I reasonably expect them to.

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A/N

Yay! I'm done with the prologue! Any suggestions would be welcome, as I'm not entirely sure where this is going to go. Reviews would be very much appreciated I know I hate it when authors beg for reviews, but… I've never seen this done before, and I'm not sure if that's because I for once came up with an original thought, or it was ignored as stupid. At any rate, whatever, and congrads to those of you who made it through my entire rant.


	2. I just don't know

Chapter 1: I just don't know.

_Part 1: Kel_

Dear Kel,

I got your letter.

Don't lie.

-Neal

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Dear Neal,

I didn't want your training interrupted on my behalf.

-Kel

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Dear Kel,

I know. It's okay. I won't torment the Stump any more than before, although I shall do so with renewed purpose. Don't give up just because one door is closed, you're better than that. I shall now send this awfully short letter before I collapse from exhaustion.

-Neal

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Dear Neal,

Purpose can only be renewed if it was there to begin with. You know me better than to think I'll give up. If I were to use your (unimaginative, for you) metaphor; the slamming of this door shall echo in my mind, and the squeaking hinges of the other doors torment me, but with some oil, they'll do just fine. There, poetic enough? I fear I've been listening to you (a dangerous habit) for far too long to start talking like that.

-Kel

P.S. If you trained with more consistency and ate your vegetables you wouldn't be so tired.

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Dear Kel,

Haha, you're so funny, aren't you. Eat your vegetable. Even from afar, you plague me. I am cursed with this meddling person all my days.

But seriously, what are you going to do with your life? A Rider, a Yamami warrior, a field soldier, a lady? Chose your path wisely, you'll be walking it the rest of your life. But you knew that. I'm worried for you Kel.

-Neal

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Dear Neal,

I don't know yet, ok? I just don't know.

-Kel

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_Part 2: Wyldon_

To His Most Excellent Majesty, King Jonathon,

As regards my post as training master, I herby resign. As you will have heard, I have dismissed the former page Keladry of Mindelan. I know, my lord, that Paige Keladry proved adequate, but she greatly disrupted the other pages training, and as the former Training Master, it was my job to look out for the interests of all of them. I do not believe that in the interests of the training of the remaining pages I should remain in that post. Therefore, with Your Majesty's approval, this is my resignation letter. As regards my successor, there is all summer break to have him in place. Upon the Crown's acception of my resignation, might I be reassigned to a border post? As of now, I just don't know what I shall be doing, so if one is available, I would serve the Crown faithfully in that venue.

Your Humble Servant,

Wyldon

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A/N:

Thank you so much for reading! Any suggestions for Wyldon's resignation letter would be much appreciated, because I had some trouble writing it, formal letters aren't really My Thing. Yeah, I don't do such good letters. Anywho, this chapter was supposed to show both Kel and Wyldon at sort of a mid-life crisis, not knowing where they're going in life, ect. So now if you could pretty please tell me if I got that across? I really can't tell, because it always makes more sense in my head than when it comes out.

Review! Hope you enjoyed this!


	3. Moving On

**A/N: Important! This story was renamed. It was "I'm sorry" now it is "Paper Trail" **

On with the fic

Chapter 3: Moving On:  


Dear Diary,

Tomorrow Mother, Father, and I will be starting back to the Islands. I just can't stay here. But I'm worried, though I won't admit it to a soul, being Yamani starts now. I haven't been training in the Yamani style for nearly two years now, so I'll be behind. Far behind. I did keep up my exercises, but those were Tortallan, and different. I won't trick myself. I know that with such an interruption I cannot in my wildest dreams hope to become a Shang. So Mama has promised to send me back after my fifteenth birthday, giving me the fall and winter to become used to Tortall before the riders recruit in the spring. But wait, what if I'm asked, for political reasons, _not_ to join the riders? Thinking on it, there could be trouble if it looked like they were taking "rejects". Undermining their system by acting as a beacon for anyone and everyone who wished to criticize them saying they played favorites and accepted those already proven to be unsuited to a military life is not what I had in mind. Damn it, I haven't seen Neal in near six months and I still sound as nastily suspicious as he ever was. Surely they wouldn't reject me. I need to hit something.

Kel

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To Whom It May Concern:

I, Keladry of Mindelan, plan to apply to the Riders upon reaching an acceptable age. However, the political complications are not beyond my contemplation. Therefore, if my presence will cause an excess of undue tension, please reply and I will seek a future elsewhere with no uncomfortable revelations.

Thank you for your anticipated timely reply.

Yours Respectfully,

_Keladry of Mindelan_

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Dear Diary,

We're on a boat on the way to the Islands. It's not like me to be this worried. But I am. I won't say so; I won't let the tears hiding behind my eyes out. I won't even pace back and forth inside my cabin, although I swear I'll go crazy if I don't move. But there, I can't do anything about it, so there's no use fretting.

At least writing things down is even a perfectly acceptable tradition in Yamen, so I have an outlet. Hiding things behind a mask, people must have at least one outlet. So here is how I feel: disappointed, enraged, homesick, lonely, vulnerable, behind, betrayed, and directionless. Disappointed because I was there, happy, doing well, I had to leave and can never go back. Enraged at Wyldon and the King, they had no right to do this do me, the law says girls can become knights. No false modesty, I know I am as good as and better than most of those boys. Homesick, I miss the palace and its comforting halls. Even if I do go back, Neal and the others, they'll have changed, I won't have spent so much time with them, so we'll never be quite so good friends, and that makes me lonely. I'm going back to a land I left over a year ago, and will be picking up training behind where I left off, and I'll be a foreigner, and friendless, easy pickings, vulnerable. The training master vowed when he became a knight to be honorable and protect the defenseless, for in this case, I needed that protection to continue on, and by breaking those vows, he betrayed me, his charge. They took away my future, my direction in life, my purpose! I did send a letter to the riders, but I shouldn't have had to! If they refuse me, I'll have no where to go and the root of the problem is Wyldon.

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To: His Most Royal Majesty, King Jonathan of Conte

From: Sir Wyldon of Cavell, Commander of Fort Blouse (A/N: private joke, sorry, couldn't resist sticking that in, pay no attention, it doesn't matter.)

As Regards: My current command

Sire, as much I regret doing so, I must request, once again, that I be released from my current position. We occupy a key position, and the country could not easily regain this keep were it to be lost. Again, as much as I regret admitting this, if attacked, we may well lose the fort. The men are demoralized beyond recovery, a situation which would be remedied by new blood, as I am the cause of this. Unfortunately, they reacted rather badly to my dismissal of the girl, and cannot respect me as leader. The men would do better under a different commander.

Yours respectfully,

Wyldon of Cavell

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**A/N:** -gasp- -spasm- -feint- I updated! And y'all thought I died! Well, I didn't. Anyway, I know Wyldon's bit was short, I didn't know what to do with him. So yeah…

Please review, I'm having some major problems with Wyldon's character, and Kel is coming out like Neal, help!


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